Trust…or lack thereof!

It’s interesting to live in a society where there is no trust. Because there is so much lying and manipulation here I guess it is impossible to have trust. It’s hard to know how to function in an environment like this when you come from a background of honesty and openness and trust. I thought we had lies in Canada, but I had no idea. We don’t know the meaning of lies as Canadians. Our lies are little white ones in comparison to what I’ve seen here. I continue to function in my usual manner being open and honest, but it is causing me such difficulty in this society. Unfortunately I’m finding that I have to keep secrets for my own survival here. One example and the one that causes me the most distress. I have landed in a fairly horrifying host family situation for me. Being an open and honest person I openly tell them where I’m going etc, etc. But that has only come back to haunt me. I’ve had them showing up at my meetings, etc. Or I’ll say I’m going out with the other Canadian Crossroader and they will show up at her host family home looking for me. I find it confusing and an incredible invasion of my privacy. I mean I’m 31 years old but I’m treated like a 13 year old who’s out sneaking around. So I find myself having to keep it secret where I am and only saying I’m going out – not that I can get out much. I’m in the country with no bus service after 6 pm and not at all on weekends. Which is why I recently requested to move to another place because I was feeling so isolated. So I found myself a place with a family in Paramaribo. I got the approval from the Canadian office and was told to inform the local contacts but that the Canadian office was in support of my desire to move. Out of respect for my current host family I explained the situation and told them I was telling them first before my meeting with the local organization which I told them was taking place later that day. When I arrived at my meeting later that afternoon a member of my host family was there waiting for me. Lord knows for how long, I never said when my meeting was. I can only assume that he didn’t believe that I hadn’t discussed my wishes with the local organization so went to see for himself. Of course I was being honest with him so now I had to face the local organization being taken by surprise. This place can be really maddening. When we returned home after the meeting he actually yelled at me for contacting Canada and not respecting the local Surinamese people. I explained I was following what was set out in my contract but that was irrelevant. For him the Canadian Office is irrelevant because I’m in Suriname now and must deal with Suriname. In my cultural training, they explained there would be differences in communication but it’s a whole other matter trying to talk to a brick wall whether you're in Canada or Suriname! Communication if it’s going to work has to be two-way in my book. Later this afternoon I am to meet with the Local Organizing Committee to discuss the situation. I’m trying to approach it with an open mind but I’m not sure exactly what there is to discuss in terms of my home situation. There is no question for me – there is no way I’m staying in a place where people think it is acceptable to shout at me. With the exception of my parents when I was a child or acting like one when I’m an adult, no one is allowed to shout at me. I don’t care what culture I’m in. That will NEVER change. As for the trust and manipulation, I can only hope this place doesn’t alter my ability to be an honest person too much!!